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The Ground Rules
28 Jul 2019 10:13My Dearest Mun,
I have been rattling around in that large, empty dungeon that you refer to as a brain for some time, now. You finally interrupted your bleak existence long enough to create my account and begin our little games. Well, done, my dear. Frankly, I'm surprised that between your dreary employment and your vast social life, you had the time.
However...
It seems as good a place as any for me to instruct you regarding the rules. Yes, dearest, there are rules, and in case you had some silly notion that you make them, I am here to dissuade you from such a foolish course. I will decide how this all shall be done, and you will be a good little girl and obey.
First of all, it is Niklaus or Klaus. Not Nik, or Nicky, or some other bastardized modern version. I simply will ignore you, should you attempt such juvenile cute with me.
Secondly, I am not anyone's love bunny. I am not looking for...what do they call it? Ah, yes...twu wuv. Given YOUR rather pathetic history in choosing lovers, my dear, I would hope that you have no silly notions of inflicting such things upon me.
Finally...and...this is rather important...I do not 'clean up'. I will not be restrained, not by you, not by some filthy witch, not by anyone. I will kill. I will feed. I will rain mayhem and violence down upon anyone I choose. I do not 'bend the knee' to anyone. I rule my city, and anywhere else I choose to wander, so...my darling little minion...you will simply have to keep up.
Oh...one more thing, luv? If you have me 'sparkle'? Even one time? I shall lay waste to every, single one of those lesser beings that reside here with me. I do hope I have made myself clear on this point.
Now...be a good girl and go fetch me some beignets, and perhaps some O negative...and Scotch.
I'm famished.
Niklaus
I have been rattling around in that large, empty dungeon that you refer to as a brain for some time, now. You finally interrupted your bleak existence long enough to create my account and begin our little games. Well, done, my dear. Frankly, I'm surprised that between your dreary employment and your vast social life, you had the time.
However...
It seems as good a place as any for me to instruct you regarding the rules. Yes, dearest, there are rules, and in case you had some silly notion that you make them, I am here to dissuade you from such a foolish course. I will decide how this all shall be done, and you will be a good little girl and obey.
First of all, it is Niklaus or Klaus. Not Nik, or Nicky, or some other bastardized modern version. I simply will ignore you, should you attempt such juvenile cute with me.
Secondly, I am not anyone's love bunny. I am not looking for...what do they call it? Ah, yes...twu wuv. Given YOUR rather pathetic history in choosing lovers, my dear, I would hope that you have no silly notions of inflicting such things upon me.
Finally...and...this is rather important...I do not 'clean up'. I will not be restrained, not by you, not by some filthy witch, not by anyone. I will kill. I will feed. I will rain mayhem and violence down upon anyone I choose. I do not 'bend the knee' to anyone. I rule my city, and anywhere else I choose to wander, so...my darling little minion...you will simply have to keep up.
Oh...one more thing, luv? If you have me 'sparkle'? Even one time? I shall lay waste to every, single one of those lesser beings that reside here with me. I do hope I have made myself clear on this point.
Now...be a good girl and go fetch me some beignets, and perhaps some O negative...and Scotch.
I'm famished.
Niklaus
